Bamber Bridge Vets 8 – 3 Preston Wanderers

There was an air of trepidation in the Brig camp going in to Friday’s fixture against Preston Wanderers, a newish side, but one with some decent players.

With some superb results under their belt, Brig had gained a reputation (perhaps in their own minds) as the ‘Galacticos’ of the Vets circuit.

With this in mind, pre-match preparations in the Brig camp were being taken very seriously. There was talk of sports massages and cryo tank sessions, which have apparently replaced the usual rub down with a wet flannel and quick spray of Lynx Africa!

With 4 or 5 key players missing, Vets manager Chris ‘Singy’ Singleton was forced to make some changes, including giving a debut to goalkeeper Stuart Barton.

Despite having celebrated a milestone birthday recently, Stuart wasn’t quite prepared to let go of his youth, and turned up ready for action resplendent in one of his finest mid 90’s jazzy keeper jerseys and a pair of white boots that wouldn’t have looked out of place on the Manxman in the 1980s.

Unfortunately for Stu, the Vets were suited and booted in their new Lorenzo Black sponsored SK Kit, so the jersey had to go. However, due to the lack of access to lost property in the Witton Park changing rooms, the boots had to stay.

The game got underway and any pre-match worries were quickly put to bed, the Vets quickly finding themselves in a comfortable 3-0 lead.

It looked like the lads would carry a clean sheet to the break, but a very suspect goal saw the visitors pull one back just before half time.

Due to the absence of VAR, we are unable to confirm if the Wanderers striker was in fact “miles offside”.

After the break, The Vets quickly extended their lead to 4-1. However a lack of concentration and a sloppy 20 minute spell led to the visitors getting another goal, taking it to 4-2.

The pressure of only having a two goal lead was clearly getting to the Vets and the evening dog walkers of Witton Park were treated to a Lee Bowyer and Kieran Dyer style “exchange” between Neil Crowe and Jon Bolton. It’s a good job the game had a late kick off. That sort of stuff shouldn’t been seen or heard pre-watershed!

The lads re-grouped and got their heads back in the game, and eventually ran out 8-3 winners courtesy of some clinical finishing.

After the game, Singy said “It was another solid performance from the lads. They clearly upped their game with the big charity game on the horizon, but credit needs to go to Wanderers. They are a good side and the scoreline probably flattered us a bit”

Next up for The Vets is the big one as they once again take on a Preston North End Legends side in a charity game in aid of St Catherine’s Hospice at Irongate on Sunday 1 May (2pm KO).

Brig goalscorers:
Lenaldinio Reid – 2
Phil Eastwood – 5 (Five)
Mitch Newsome – 1

Stuart Barton - 7
Good debut. Good talker, made one cracking save. Needs to improve on his dress sense (even with a new kit provided)

Jamie Nay - 6
Nowhere near his usual high standard, but we’ll let him off, he is nervous about the North End/Blackpool game on Tuesday night, bless him.

James Clegg - 7
Cleggy doesn’t have bad games. Mr dependable.

Chris Singleton - 7
He thinks he shouldn’t have gone off . Apparently “he read the game well and made some good interceptions”.

Chris Chattell - 7
Strong in a tackle, won his 50/50s. Needs to learn to talk.

Lenaldinio Reid - 8
Very lively performance and 2 fantastic goals from the club's resident fashionista. In honour of the unveiling of the new Lorenzo Black sponsored kit, he decided to accessorize his ensemble with some new pink gardening boots. Should have had hat-trick though as those boots could send satellites off course!

Mitch Newsome - 7
Live wire. Looks so sharp at the moment, pace to burn. Great goal

Kenny ‘Luther’ Mayers - 7
Good link up man, everybody played off him. Unlucky to have one ruled out.

Neil Crowe – 7
5 marks for his motivational speech to Jon Bolton. The other two for his non-verbal performance. Was seen on Saturday at Irongate fully upright and mobile so clearly didn’t do enough running on Friday night!

Jon Bolton - 6
Did OK in the middle to start. The move to defence was a mistake. He won’t be playing at the back again, but finished strong after a wobble

Andy Richards - 7
Bit of a cameo, came on for 15 and made a lovely assist. Was eyeing up the new subs jackets for walking his dog in.

JT - 7
Arrived a bit late and played the second half. Didn’t get the service he needed and so wasn’t fully utilised.

Phil Eastwood (who?????) - 9
Last time we saw Phil he was in worst shape of his life, this time maybe the best. A great comeback, scoring 5 of the 8 goals. Cynics would say the upcoming charity game was his motivation. Paid the price on Saturday morning though. Apparently moving around the house was quite challenging early on!

Notable absences:

Si Woodward (aka Lord Lucan) who is surely running out of excuses now as to why he couldn’t make it. Maybe he had the carpet fitters in?

Jamie Milligan. Was pencilled in to model the new Lorenzo Black sponsored kit. Gave back word late on. Possibly after he saw the weather forecast for Blackburn on Friday night.

All Vets match reports are a parody. Scorers and goalscorers are correct to the best of our knowledge. Some of the match content *may* have been embellished for artistic purposes.