Fishwick 1 - 10 (Ten) Bamber Bridge Vets

The Brig Vets continued their free-scoring run, putting 10 past Fishwick at Witton Park on Friday night.

Manager Chris 'Singy' Singleton's phone had been ringing off the hook all week with men way past their footballing prime offering their services for the mighty Brig.

It's perhaps a good job, as quite a few of the Vets had cried off with what the manager described as "terrible excuses". Claims from one player that "the dog ate my shin pads" are as yet unsubstantiated.

The unavailability of some key regular players enabled Singy to give three new faces the chance to prove themselves for the Brig: Stephen Green; Warren Beattie and Tom Williams, who was re-united with his former Brig first team gaffer Neil Crowe, all coming in to the side.

Still smarting after their narrow defeat to Clifton Casuals in their last outing, the Vets came out all guns blazing; well as much as they could bearing in mind they are men of "a certain age".

It paid off, and the Vets cruised in to a 6 (or maybe 7) goal lead before the home side got a look in.

A beautiful assist by Brig's Jon Bolton enabling Fishwick to pull one back.

With the scoreline at 6 (or possibly 7) - 1 it was game on.

Despite the set back, Brig rallied and put another 3 past Fishwick to put the game out of the Prestonian's reach.

Full time: Fishwick 1 - 10 (ten) Bamber Bridge Vets.

Brig Goal Scorers*
Bolton 1
Marlow 3 (including an absolute worldie of an overhead kick from the edge of the box. He needs to knock that behaviour on the head or he might find himself back in the Brig 1st team)
Newsome 4
Green 2

*We think goalscorer are accurate, for corrections please call us on 01-811-8055 and records will be updated accordingly.

Speaking after the game, Vets manager Chris Singleton said:

'It was a fine performance by the lads. It was good to get back to winning ways after the blip last time out. I was pleased with how the new line-up performed. I'll have some hard choices to make for future games. Some of those poor excuses given for absences for this week's game by our more established players may come home to roost.........Carey who?'

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Player Ratings (by our anonymous assessor):

Wayne Dixon - 7
Spectator most of the night, only thing he had to do was pick ball out of the net, but he did that with style and panache. Couldn't ask anymore, although we still think he should’ve done better with Milly’s free kick against Clifton Casuals.

Jamie Nay - 8 (in his first spell on the pitch), 4 (when he came back on)
He needs to learn right-back isn’t upfront. Talked a lot of nonsense too. Was AWOL for large part of his second stint. So much so he could have popped to the Fielden's Arms for a pint and no one would have noticed.

James Clegg - 8
Excellent night for Cleggy, rampant up that left hand side. A full back that gets back too.

Ross Bain - 7
Mr. Organiser. Never stops talking….or moaning. Hamstrings, calf, toe nail…you name it, it hurts. (Think he's after a sponsorship with Deep Heat or Seven Seas.)

Chris Singleton - 7
Swept everything up all night, nice and tidy

Jon Bolton - 7
Couldn’t pass water during the first 20, ended up with a goal and an assist. His goal a lovely finish, his assist was equally enthralling, but for the opposition.

Warren Beattie - 7
A great debut, switched play really well, kept the ball always moving, linked well with Crowey.

Neil Crowe - 7
Played some cracking balls over the top, switched to right-back in the second-half as Jamie Nay went AWOL. (We are checking CCTV to see if Jamie was actually having a flyer in the Fielden's Arms during his apparent absence.)

Tom Ince - 8
Dropped deep in pockets and made the Vets tick all night

Chris 'The Goose' Marlow - 9
Couple of worldie strikes deserving of more people watching, other than the usual evening dog walkers and bored teens. Might have to put him on contract as scouts are bound to be all over him.

Tom Williams - 7
Another superb debut. Eager to impress and popped-up everywhere, a good addition to the side.

Stephen Green - 7
Needed some WD-40 to warm up, was like Bambi on ice first 5mins, got better as game went on and scored twice on his debut. Might ask him back!

Mitch Newsome - 8
Very sharp on the night, probably something to do with the weather as it wasn’t raining….hence he turned up.

Lenaldinio Reid - 7
Nice and bright for the final 30 despite carrying a knock. Stepped up to assistant on the night, although got a few ideas above his station. Had to be restrained from getting the tactics board out at half-time.

Notable absences:
Simon 'The Bald Eagle' Carey. He's still dining out on the 2 yard tap-in he scored against PNE Legends at Irongate, so only wants to turn up for the big glamour ties.

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All Vets match reports are a parody. Scorers and goalscorers are correct to the best of our knowledge. Some of the match content *may* have been embellished for artistic purposes.